So last night, I had the pleasure of spending 6 hours and 31 minutes glued to my
seat watching the Angels defeat the Red Sox in what was the weirdest baseball game I have ever seen. Richards tossed a no-hitter then all hell broke loose. 49 innings later, I took this picture.
Look at them. After 98 innings they’re having a blast. Look, even Sosh is like “YEA, YOU GUYS. LOOK AT THE TEAM! FUN!” Iannetta is the dude who wants to say something funny to the group but is waiting for the right time to say the joke but someone else beats him to punch. I don’t know who the hell is jumping but I’m assuming that’s
Ernesto Frieri Huston Street. Cowgill is covering his abs because PEOPLE KEEP HARASSING HIM. I KNOW HOW IT FEELS DUDE.
Anyways, it’s a fun picture. Yay for being there. But then, I snapped this one.
Oh my god. So much shit going on. Where do I even start. How bout this guy…
This is the face of a man who just finished a 109 inning game and has to spend another 3 minutes watching a replay of a ball being stupid. He looks LIVID. Look at his body language. It screams “BRO, NORMS IS GOING TO CLOSE IN ONE HOUR AND I NEED TO BOOK IT.”. Ump, I feel ya. You know who else is upset? How bout this Red Sox player…
THIS IS THE LOOK OF A MAN WHO IS 15 MINUTES AWAY FROM CLOSING HIS SHIFT AT RED ROBINS ONLY TO HAVE A STUPID GROUP OF TEENS COME IN FROM PARTYING AT STEVE MCHOLT’S HOUSE AND CRAVE CLUCKS AND FRIES THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHIPPETS THEY DID. All caps. That’s how angry he is. Just look at him. He’s so convinced Pujols didn’t just hit a walk-off bomb to end that 129 inning game. BUT WAIT, A WILD RED SOX APPEARS…
WHO IS THIS? Bogaerts? I don’t even know. He just looks so bitter about the enjoyment others are having. Look at Pujols having way to much fun then look at Fawx-Bogaerts. Bogaerts has the face of a man whose girlfriend wants to sit on the same side of the table and he doesn’t want to upset her by telling her that’s a stupid idea. BECAUSE IT IS STUPID. DON’T SIT ON THE SAME SIDE. Oh you think I’m just bringing up Red Sox? THINK AGAIN! CUE THE TAPE
First off, #BaseballButts. Second, Kendrick is unsure if he should just let Aybar and Pujols do their thing or if he should join in. I do that quite often. I want to join the party, but I don’t want to be THAT guy. “Oh great. Here’s Ricardo. You know what I hate about him? I hate that he thinks he can just hang with us….” “Hey Guys!” “Ricardo! Dude what’s up!” /looks at other friend who is making a face because I’m there. I GET IT KENDRICK. I KNOW YOUR PAIN.
Bro…those muscles. Is it me or is EVERY camera guy physically fit? I don’t ever see fat camera dudes on the field. It’s like hipsters. You’ll never find a fat hipster. PROVE ME WRONG. I’m gonna call this guy Keith. Keith, if you’re reading this, good job dude. Good job at looking fit.
Now we’re getting weird. Zooming in on some random guy. He’s ready to get the hell out of here. Not even standing there hands folded and waiting for the review. He’s probably hitting up Norms with that Ump.
Here’s a Frazee Paint bucket. I don’t know why I’m writing about this but if someone hits a ball in there, some charity is getting 1 Million Dollars. Hopefully that charity is Ricardo’s Pizza Relief Fund.
That wraps up this blog. I hate you Oakland A’s.